If you are anything like me, you have had a tough time in
2020. I am sure you have seen the memes
or read the posts making fun of the resolutions that we all made at 12AM on
January 1st. Maybe you planned to start
a new routine, lose some weight, eat healthier. Maybe your goals were bigger and this was your year to shoot for
the stars. Maybe you were going to open
that business you always dreamed of, get more into politics, advocate for
change, conquer global warming; or, maybe you vowed to work endlessly on your parenting
skills (because as parents, we almost never think we are good enough).
Whatever your dreams and aspirations were for 2020, they
almost certainly were squashed by this pandemic. Squashed and possibly killed by an uncontrollable
natural disaster that no one could have predicted. This is where the silly memes and emotional social
media posts come in (and yes, I am definitely guilty of some of those posts). They might seem silly to some, but to others,
they are a way to cope. A way to connect
when “social distancing” has become socially pulling ourselves from the human
connections that we so desperately need in a crisis.
With all of that said, I ask you this……have you found
yourself feeling “less.” Are you feeling
challenged in ways that you never could have thought were possible? Maybe you lost your job, or that event you
wanted to run was cancelled, your fitness goals were killed because the gym was
closed and the world was put on pause.
Are you finding yourself yelling at your children more than you would
like to? Then you throw your hands in the
air and say, “so much for working on my parenting skills. Maybe we are all doomed.”
Do not get me wrong, I know that there are people who are
able to skate through this pandemic with a great deal of style and grace. For that I commend them. If this person is you, and you feel like your life is still on track and under control throughout this chaos, I still urge you to take a moment and read my
thoughts on the situation. I think that
if this thought process will not help you, then it might be something that will
help your friends or family members who cannot cope as well as you.
I have spent a number of years studying growth and
development. Throughout this time, I
have learned that we are built with the need and desire for two specific
things. We need to progress and we
absolutely, undeniably need human interaction to fuel that progress. We need support and inspiration to
thrive. Call it spirituality or just
plain old brain chemistry. Whatever the
label, we NEED other humans to help us feel whole. We need friends or family to guide us through
the challenging times. Whether it be
physical or emotional contact, it is necessary and something that has been
studied for years. Humans need humans to survive.
So, when faced with the challenge of a “socially distanced” pandemic,
how the heck do we survive????
Right now, we rely our inner circle AND technology. Technology has allowed us to find alternative
outlets to cope. For example, right now
you might be reading this blog in the hopes that it will give you a small bit
of insight into how the heck you can feel better during this time. Well, since I cannot physically hold your
hand and tell you that everything is going to be ok, I have a different piece
of advice for you….
Give yourself some GRACE!
Give yourself some credit and try to remember and focus on
the accomplishments that you have made in your life. No matter how small or large, that is your saving
grace. The fact that you HAVE done it,
you HAVE gone the extra mile in your life, pandemic or not. When trauma and stress take over our lives, it
is oftentimes difficult to focus on anything strong and productive. Simultaneously, I am convinced that focus is
what we need to get through this.
In her book, How to Stop Feeling like Sh*t: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back from Happiness, author Andrea
Owen suggests an exercise that I think is ingenious when trying to focus on the
good despite all of the bad. Andrea
suggests WRITING IT DOWN. She suggests to make a list of
your greatest life accomplishments that you can view and evaluate when things
are feeling bad. Andrea then suggests
that we read the list aloud and remove factors that self-sabotage our
accomplishments. Let me give you an
example of my before and after list:
Sarah’s Grace Giving List #1:
- I built a gym because I was too conflicted on whether or not to get my PhD instead
- I got first place in my last bodybuilding competition because I was only being compared to 1 other person, if there were more, I would not have done so well.
- I taught a 300 level course in a university because they couldn’t find anyone else to do the job that year
- I ran a marathon, but couldn’t actually run the entire way and speed walked to the finish line for the last 5 miles
Now, I am sure that this list seems a little extreme in the
area of self-sabotage. The truth is, I
made it that way so I could make a point.
Oftentimes when we are dealing with a stressful circumstance, we tend
to find a negative in every positive, even if we do not realize that we are
doing it. Below I have my updated list,
and it is something that I am spending a lot of time focusing on while I
navigate myself through this pandemic.
Sarah’s Grace Giving List #2 – (updated version)
- I BUILT A GYM
- I got FIRST PLACE in my last bodybuilding competition
- I taught a 300 level college course
- I ran a marathon and made it all the way to the finish line
Do you see what I did there?
I got rid of the extenuating circumstances of my life and gave myself
GRACE. The fact of the matter is that I
did those things, and you did your things too.
I never pretend to have all of the answers, but I do think that we need
to spend more time appreciating ourselves before we can recover from this madness. So, I challenge you to follow through with
this exercise. Give yourself the credit
that you deserve. Carry your list with
you and focus on it when you need it most.
Once in a while look at your list and remind yourself, “I can do this,
and this is why.”
One last thing, Andrea Owen also suggests updating your list
on an as needed basis. I think this is
an amazing idea, and it also gives us all something to look forward to. We know this pandemic is not going to last
forever. I personally am waiting for the
day that my list will look like this:
Sarah’s Grace Giving List #3 – (the future)
- I BUILT A GYM
- I got FIRST PLACE in my last bodybuilding competition
- I taught a 300 level college course
- I ran a marathon and made it all the way to the finish line
- I Kicked a Pandemic’s ASS
Sources:Owen, Andrea. How to Stop Feeling like Sh*t: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back from Happiness. Basic Books, 2018.About Sarah Ostroski:
Sarah is the owner and head trainer at Tonicity Fit Personal training Studio in West Chester. She has worked as a personal trainer for over 18 years. She is an American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) nationally certified Exercise Physiologist. Sarah has a Bachelor of Science in Exercise Science from Eastern University and a Master of Science in Integrative Exercise Physiology from Temple University. She is also ACSM Exercise is Medicine Level 2 certified and holds an SCW certification in Nutrition, Hormones and Metabolism.
To learn more about Sarah, Click Here.
